Things that make you go hmmm.: August 2005

The best thing that makes you go hmmm...

Jesus Christ. Do you know Him? He is the Son of God and yet he was willing to come to earth as a man and die a horrible death even though he was innocent and lived a perfect life without commiting a sin. He died on the cross to pay the price for you and me. He paid our debt so that we could have our relationship to God restored and so we could have eternal life. If you don't know Him, you can. It is easy. Just say a prayer to God telling Him that you realize that you are a sinner and that you can't make it to heaven on your own. Tell Him that you believe that Jesus Christ paid the price for you and washed away your sin by dying on the cross and that He defeated sin and death when He arose again from the grave. You are forgiven just by believing. Tell God that you want to accept Jesus into your life to be Lord of your life and you want to turn away from a life of sin. The next step would be to share this decision with a fellow Christian or a pastor and join with a group of believers that can support you and help you grow as a Christian. Here are some verses in the Bible that can help you:
John 3:16, Romans 5:8, Romans 3:23, Romans 6:23, John 1:12, I Corinthians 15:3-4, Romans 10:9, 13, John 5:24.

Excess surplus one-liners

How do people get discombobulated? Have you ever seen someone who was combobulated?
If we call people from Poland poles why don't we call people from Holand holes?
If a rabbit's foot was actually lucky, wouldn't it still be attached to the rabbit's leg?
Why does Goofy talk and wear clothes while Pluto barks naked?
If you wanted to mummify a fly, would you use dental floss?
If the husband dies, the wife is called a widow, if a child's parents die, it is called an orphan. Why isn't there a word for a parent that loses a child?
Why do they call it baby-sitting when all you do is run after them?
Why is it called American football when they rarely use their feet to play?
Why do you put suits in a garment bag and garments in a suitcase?
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
Why does an alarm clock said to go "off" when it actually turns on?
Why are they stairs inside but steps outside?
How does a fish sleep?
Why are feet smelly and noses runny?
Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off?

An overabundance of one-liners

How do you throw away a garbage can?
How does a thermos know if the drink should be hot or cold?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
Why do tourists go to the tops of tall buildings and then put money into telescopes so they can see things on the ground close-up?
Why is it that night falls but day breaks?
Why is it that you must wait until night to call it a day?
How do you remove a club soda stain?
What if the Hokey Pokey IS what its all about?
What happened to the first 6 "ups"?
How do blind people know when they are done wiping their behinds?
Why do people sing "Take me out to the ball game" when they are already there?
How do hearing aid companies expect potential customers to hear their commercials?
When a fly lands on the ceiling, does it do a half roll or a half loop?
Why does the arcade game "Donkey Kong" have a monkey? Why isn't it called Monkey Kong?
Why do lumberjacks cut trees down and then chop them up?

Additional one-liners

Why do banks charge you a "insufficient funds" fee on money they already know you don't have?
If you get cheated by the Better Business Bureau, who do you complain to?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
What are Preparation A through Preparation G?
In a country of free speech, why are there phone bills?
How come there aren't B batteries?
How do "Do not walk on the grass" signs get there?
Is a metaphor like a simile?
How is it possible to have a civil war?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?
If crime doesn't pay does that mean that my job is a crime?
Did Noah keep his bees in archives?
How can there be self-help "groups"?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?

Superfluous one-liners

Why do people order a super-sized Big Mac meal with a Diet Coke?
Why do people have worthless junk in the garage and leave their expensive car in the driveway?
Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Why do they call it a building? It looks like they are finished, why isn't it a built?
If pro is the opposite of con, is progress the opposite of congress?
Did you ever wonder why kamikaze pilots wore helmets?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
Can I yell "movie" in a crowded firehouse?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
How do a fool and his money get together in the first place?
How do you know when its time to tune your bagpipes?
How is it that a building burns up as it burns down?
If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?
What was the best thing before sliced bread?

A plethora of one-liners

If you hate all prejudice people, are you a hypoocrite?
Why do they call them apartments, when they're all together?
Who was the idiot that decided to put an "s" in the word lisp?
Why is the word for "a fear of long words" so long? (Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia)
Where does your lap go when you stand up?
You can be overwhelmed and underwhelmed, but why can't you be simply whelmed?
Why is it that when the batteries in your remote control wear out you just push the buttons harder?
Can fat people go skinny dipping?
Why don't they make the entire airplane out of the same material that the indestructible black box is made of?
If you try to fail, and you fail, have you succeeded or failed?
Why are boxing rings square?
Shouldn't the opposite of shut up be shut down?
Why do you always find things in the last place you looked?
Which came first, the chicken or the egg?
Why is phonetically not pronounced phonetically?
If I dreamed of being chased by a giant squirrel would that make me a nut?

Lincoln and Kennedy

No, this isn't an address. I am referring to the two presidents and their assasinations. I saw this on the internet somewhere and it made me go hmmm.

The incidence of coincidence is so prevalent, that it cannot be considered coincidence.
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.
The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both their wives lost their children while living in the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both were shot in the head.
Both were shot in the presence of their wives.
The Secretary of each President warned them not to go to the theater and to Dallas, respectively.
Lincoln's Secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners.
Both successors were named Johnson. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three names.
Both names have 15 letters.
Booth ran from the theater and was captured in a warehouse.
Oswald ran from the warehouse and was captured in a theater.
To cap it all off, Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trial.

Whoaaa! Do-di-do.

Good and eeeevil

My wife told me a long time ago that the sounds of me flossing my teeth really annoy her. I think this is just one of those idiosyncrasies of our spouses that we have to deal with. Or I should say that she will have to deal with because I don’t know how to floss any differently. Actually, I try to go somewhere else to floss so she won’t have to hear it. But, when she is nearby I am always conscious of the sounds of my flossing and try to not be so annoying. I was thinking the other day of how my wife’s comments about such a little thing had such a sub-conscious affect on me that I remember it most every day when I floss. This is just a silly illustration and hopefully gave you a laugh at my expense, but it made me think about the power we have with the words that we say. This can be power for good or for eeevil (it has more affect when you say it like this). What are some examples of using our words for good? The supreme example I guess would be sharing with someone about Jesus Christ. It is always good when we share about the love that He showed to us in dying on the cross to forgive our sins so that we could be reconciled and have a relationship with God and live eternally with Him. Also, we can do good with our words when we use them to encourage someone (see Ephesians 4:29). What are some examples of our words being used for eeevil? We can use our words for evil when we criticize others, or when we gossip, or slander, or just saying mean things, or when we use foul language (see James 3). Now sometimes it is necessary to be critical of others when it is done constructively with the intent to help someone for their own good (for example, to not be so annoying when flossing your teeth : ). So be careful of the words you say both verbally and written (ex. blog postings and comments) because they can be very powerful and you can’t take them back.

Even more one-liners

OK, some of these may be repeats, I didn't take the time to go back and edit.

Why do women wear evening gowns to go out at night? Shouldn't they be wearing night gowns?
When cheese gets it's picture taken, what does it say?
Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
Why are there locks on the door of stores that are open 24/7 365 days a year?
Why are there braille dots on a drive-through ATM keypad?
If you got in a cab and the driver drove backwards would he end up owing you money?
Why do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight?
When someone says "You know what they say..." Who are they?
Sean Fitzpatrick, but does Patrick fit Sean?
streetsign: "To the Braille Institute". Who's it for?
If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?
Is there another word for synonym?
If a cow laughs, does milk come out it's nose?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
If nothing sticks to teflon, then how do they make it stick to the pan?
Why don't psychics predict the winning lottery numbers and retire?

Burps

Burps, do we learn the appropriateness of this from our families? We have friends that the husband let’s out these huge belches and doesn’t blink an eye at it or say excuse me unless someone says something like Whoa or Wow that was a huge one. Our daughter who is still learning to talk well will let out a little burp and say “I burped, that was a big one” no matter if you barely could hear it. Like so many things she says, we try unsuccessfully to teach her manners saying that she needs to say excuse me but can’t help cracking up at what she just said. Another guy in my office you can hear let out a huge burp with no excuse me or anything else. He is also the one who when he sneezes is really loud, but really high pitched and shrill like he’s trying to sound like a girl or something.

A joke my father-in-law told my kids one day: What color is a hiccup (or burp)? It’s burple.
I guess there are some father-in-law jokes out there. :)

When breast feeding is not ok.

Breast feeding
Kids too old, pumping at work.

When we moved here almost 10 years ago, I came by myself to start my new job and my wife stayed behind to finish up the school year at the school where she taught and to sell our house. I was staying with the in-laws and going to church with them. Those were some tough days by the way. Thanks honey for all you went through. Anyway, I went to a young married couples' fellowship our church had by myself. I was standing there near some people and I turn to talk to this one lady who was sitting next to me and whoa! hold on! turn your head! She was sitting there breast feeding her infant right out in front of everybody. I can understand to some extent, but can't you go to another room? And if not, can't you at least cover it up with a blanket? I mean, she had no qualms about just ... well you get the picture. She is very into the whole breast feeding thing and I guess she continue to breast feed her kids way too long in my opinion. I am pretty sure she was still breast feeding her son when he was like 2 or 3 years old (maybe it was even older than that). We are talking mouths full of teeth. That is just wrong.

Why didn't I do that?

Have you ever had a crazy idea for a business or a product to sell? What are some of them? Have you later seen where someone else did the same thing and were either very successful and you kick yourself for not going for it or they were a flop and you were so glad that you didn’t? I remember visiting a mega sporting goods store where they had all these neat areas where you could try out the different products like a basketball court, a baseball pitching machine, even an artificial ski slope on a treadmill type thing. There was also a golf simulator where you hit the ball off a mat into a screen and your shot continues based on it’s speed and trajectory in this picture of a golf course. You could choose from several famous courses and even play a whole round keeping score etc. I thought this would be a great idea to have an arcade like store where someone could play a round for less than at a real course and get in some good practice in a fun way as compared to going to a range and hitting balls over and over. I think this would be very successful esp. in a cold weather climate where the golf season might be short. This wasn’t the case for me since the places I have lived have been warm weather climates. I even sent off for more information about these simulators and they were quite expensive so it would take some up front investment, but I still think it would be a good idea and I have yet to see any store like this. I am not the risk taker type to make a go at it though, so I am sure it will probably remain just a good idea.

Coke, Pop, Soda, Soda Pop, Soft Drink?

What are some words or phrases that you say that are different from other people you meet? It may depend on the area of the country you are from or it may just be simple things that you and your family made up. One of these that was obvious for me was when I met my wife. She was from the Pacific NW which is where we live now and I was from Texas. I used to call any kind of soft drink Coke as in “Let’s go get a Coke” or “Do want a Coke with dinner?” no matter if we were actually drinking Coke or not (which usually it was my choice for a soft drink). We would then clarify if we wanted some other “flavor”. My wife and others from this area as well as other areas of the country use the term “Pop” to refer to soft drinks which comes from soda pop. What do you call soft drinks? Do you have other examples?

Can you believe...

Come up with something wild unbelievable “fact” and then say see comments for further information and say I totally made this up. Shows how you can’t believe everything you read on the internet. : )

I didn't use this one... or did I? I said I would go away from the blogging world, but did I really. What day are you reading this?

More one-liners

Remember, I got these from some other source so don't blame me. : )

How come you play at a recital but recite at a play?

Why isn’t chocolate considered a vegetable since it comes from cocoa beans?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
What do chickens think we taste like?
What do people in China call their good plates?
What do you call a male ladybug?
What hair color do they put on the driver's license of a bald man?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
When they first invented the clock, how did they know what time it was to set it to?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why don't they call mustaches "mouthbrows?"
If it was a three hour cruise, why did Mrs. Howell have so many clothes with her?
How much deeper would the ocean be if sponges didn't grow in it?
Why do we wait till a pig is dead to "cure" it?
Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?
What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
If, instead of talking to your plants, you yelled at them, would they still grow, only be troubled and insecure?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
Why doesn't glue stick to the bottle?
Why do they use sterilized needles for death by lethal injection?
Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a revolver at him?
If people evolved from apes, why are there still apes? See http://www.drdino.com/index.jsp for some real answers.
Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?
Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
Is there ever a day that mattresses are not on sale?
Why is it that no plastic bag will open from the end you first try?
Why is it that whenever you attempt to catch something that's falling off the table you always manage to knock something else over?
How come you never hear father-in-law jokes?
If at first you don't succeed, shouldn't you try doing it like your wife told you to do it?

Dumb and dumber than ever.

How we have tougher standards for schools and yet some of those graduating from high school seem to be dumber than ever. Give examples.

Again, I couldn't think of any at the time. Can you? I got this idea while watching one of my favorite game shows called Street Smarts. It is where this former stand-up comedian, Frank Nicotero, goes out and asks people relatively simple questions and then the contestants in the studio try to guess who had the right answer, etc. It is hilarious, look it up on your cable lineup to see if you can watch it.

What are your motives?

I was reading recently about what our motives should be as Christians in our service to God. An example of the wrong motive can be found in Matthew 6:5 where Jesus was pointing out that the hypocritical Pharisees were praying “so that they may be seen by men”. Isn’t it interesting that it doesn’t say that they prayed to be heard by men? Obviously the content of their prayer was not as important to them as their appearance was. If you are a Christian, do you have the right motives in your service? You may need to ask yourself if it ever bothers you when no one notices your work or when someone else receives the credit. Our motive should be to advance the kingdom of God and for His glory alone and not ours.

It's free. It's free.

Who says that you can’t get anything for free anymore? And why do people pay for things when they can get them for free? Think of some examples:

OK, I never got around to thinking of any. Can you?

Getting drunk and other stupid things

Why do some people continue to do stupid things like getting drunk? We went to a party our neighbors had for his 40th birthday last weekend. We left after 2 hours at about 6 that evening. The party went on and on until well past midnight. There was a lot of drinking and we saw guys lying in their front lawn and even saw a guy peeing outside on their fence. We were glad that our kids were able to sleep and didn’t see any of that. You would think that with all of the negative effects this causes like feeling terrible the next day with a hangover, not remembering much from the night before, possibly throwing up which is never a pleasant experience, making a fool of yourself, and not to mention all of the possible long-term effects that it can have to you physically as well as financially that they would learn and not do this again. Yet, some people continue to repeat this activity, some every weekend and some even more often.

I am so glad that I have Christ in my life that I don’t need to turn to other things like this. Even so, as a Christian we can be just as stupid when God promises to bless us and we can have so much joy when we are obedient to Him and yet we constantly turn the other direction and disobey God’s Word which has all kinds of negative effects to our lives and we miss out on the blessings. Isn’t God awesome though that he still wants us back even when we have been disobedient and will forgive our sins and cleanse us (I John 1:9) and that he desires so much to have a close relationship with us. All of this is possible only through the blood of Christ that he shed for us on the cross which covers our sins and allows us to come into the presence of God.

Some one-liners.

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don'tpoint to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they aregoing to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're bothdogs! If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Should I blog, or should I go?

This is my dilemma. I have been "blogging" for about 5 months now and it has turned into quite a habit. The problem is that I do this while I am at work. My job has been very slow lately, so I am still able to get done all that needs to get done. I have been convicted that I really should not be doing this activity at work because I am not giving my time and best effort to my employer for which I am being compensated. Colossians 3:22-24. Also, with all the benefits that come with the blogging which I will expound more on below, none of it would be worth losing my job over. I doubt that would happen unless I messed up some other way, but I don't need to give them a reason to fire me.

I could go on and on justifying and giving details of why I like to blog, but all would still lead me to conclude that I must go. I may pop in on occasion, but while I am at home and not at work. This is hard too because I really don't have the free time nor do I want to take away from time spent with my family. Anyway here is a tribute to all those who I have been faithfully reading lately in hopes that if anyone stumbles across my site in the future they may find their way to some good quality posts. Thanks to all who have visited my site and esp. those who have added their comments which have made my posts even more fun to read.

OK, here is another reason I must go. I had this huge post listing all the sites I go to with all these great things to say about each one and why I would go to their sites and I went to Save as Draft to then Publish and poof, it was gone. What a waste of time. Maybe I wasn't supposed to post this in case I left someone out or said things that someone wouldn't want. Oh well, I hit the recover post deal and got the first two paragraphs above back, so I decided instead of retyping all of that I would just refer you to my links on the right side. Some of the nice things I initially said were that it has been great meeting some great Christian brothers and sisters that I wish lived here so I could have real friendships with, etc. I could really see how some could be great mentors to me and all just having a great time hanging out. Anyway, it has been fun. It has been real (as real as you can get in the Blogger world). I have to say it, it has been real fun. God bless.

Funny signs on yotophoto

I started using this search engine web site called yotophoto for finding free images with little or no restrictions on their use. I thought I would just type in "funny" and see what would come up. Out of the 66 photos, I chose these two to display today.

For the photo on the left, I think it must be a new chain of restaurants that cater to those who can't make up their mind what they want.
For the photo on the right, I think it is just funny. Plus, maybe I can get back in to good graces with those I possibly offended with my Must Hate Dogs post. : )

Riches and Beauty

Have you ever heard it said that the reason God doesn’t give some of us an abundance of

material riches is because we couldn’t handle all that comes with it and continue serving God and not let the money take His place? My response is always “I’d like to have at least a few hundred thousand to give it a try”. : ) I heard on the radio the other day about a millionaire who seems to have his priorities straight. He has a hugely successful business and lives on 10% and gives the remaining 90% to God. Now wouldn’t that be awesome if all the millionaires handled their material blessings that way?

Do you think this principle might be true with good looks too? Think about it. How many gorgeous people do you know who are Christians? Can you think of that many really strong Christians who are great looking? And the few Christians who are great looking seem to have such a strong humble relationship with God that their looks don’t seem to be an issue. Vice-versa, aren’t some of the most beautiful people on the inside who love the Lord not really what the world would describe as knock-outs? OK, maybe this is a reach to try to stereotype this

way, but I think the next time I catch myself wishing I had the huge mansion or complaining about my lack of hair, big nose, and my numerous other physical imperfections, I need to thank God that He provides for all my needs and has given me a wonderful wife who loves me even with all my deficiencies in the looks department and a joy that doesn’t come from these worldly areas in life. I should just be thankful that I am an average looking middle-class guy and that I don’t have to worry about adding these “burdens” to the list of things that might interfere with my relationship with the Lord.

Questions, questions and more questions

I thought it was time to consider some more thought provoking questions (solely for entertainment purposes).

If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?

What happens if you are going at the speed of light and turn your head lights on?

If you spin an oriental man, does he become disoriented?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

If a turtle loses its shell is it naked or homeless?

Hmmmmm!!!

Things that make you go Ahhhh, you scared me.

Well one thing really. Last night (actually at 3:37 this morning), our son came into our dark room and just stood next to our bed. He has done this before, I have no idea how he makes it through the dark hallway without hitting a wall or something. This time he actually poked my rib waking me from deep sleep and making me go "Ahhhh, you scared me." Other times I have just felt his presence there and woke up to see him standing there. Startling to say the least. The funny thing is that I remember doing this as a kid and my wife does too. Is this just a common thing for kids to sneak into their parents' rooms in the darkness and scare them? Has this ever happened to you or do you remember doing this?

Deleted pictures

I just deleted most of the pictures I had uploaded to my blog. I left the liger since it wouldn't be the same and these pics were emailed to me. My brother had just emailed me asking about the pics on my site and I was doing some looking up on Blogger here about this and noticed the deal about copyrights. I never really thought about it. I was just doing searches and saving the pictures to my computer and uploading them for my posts. I sure don't want to get into trouble for something stupid like that so my site might not be as colorful in the future. Probably not very likely, but you never know with computers and codes tracking things and things.

VBS

My wife has been helping this week with Vacation Bible School at our church and my son is attending. This is such a great ministry as it really is a great way to reach out to kids and their parents who would not normally consider coming to church. A great opportunity to share Jesus and His love. I really admire those who volunteer their time to help with this as it takes so much to put on. I have read several blogs that mention helping with Vacation Bible School. My coworker’s kids are going to VBS the same week that our church has it and one of my son’s friends that he asked to come with him to VBS said that he couldn’t because he was already going to VBS at another church, both different denominations than our church. Here is my question, are all Vacation Bible School’s the same or at least similar? I know that there are different themes that they use at different churches, but are they all run the same way? I remember going to VBS when I was a kid growing up in Texas and it sounds very similar to the way it is run at our church. The kids all line up outside under a sign and then parade in to the sanctuary for the opening. They all do the pledges to the flag, Christian flag, and Bible and emphasis is made about the memory verse for the week and an offering is taken. Some time during the morning, there is a break for Kool-Aid and cookies. Is this the way it is at VBS at your church? What are the different ways that it is run or are they different?

What's in a name?

Whaaaat’s up with men’s nicknames. There are some that are very common that just don’t make sense. For instance, using Dick for Richard. Why not call him Rich or maybe even Rick, but not Dick. I’m sure those with that nickname would agree. Don't you love this pic (deleted) of our VP, Richard B. Cheyney? And how about calling Robert, Bob? Why not Rob? For Bob to be your nickname, wouldn’t your real name have to be Bobert? What about Chuck being a nickname for Charles or Charlie. How did they come up with that? And I was always confused with John F. Kennedy being nicknamed Jack. I guess I really don’t know Jack Kennedy. How about Bill for William, why not Will or Willy? And how did they come up with Hank for Henry? Well, I guess we can let this one go since calling him Hank Aaron sounds better than calling him by his real name. BTW-Did you know that in 1952, Hank Aaron played for a Negro League baseball team called the Indianapolis Clowns? Really, what's in a name? Can't you hear it in the stands, "these guys are playing like a bunch of clowns". Can you think of any other nicknames like this?

While on the subject of names, how about all of those androgynous names? Why do parents do this to their poor children? Why not pick names that are clearly male or female? Here is a quick list of ones I can think of, you list any more that come to mind.
Pat, Terry, Kelly, Tracy, Lee ;), Erin, Kerry, Taylor, Cameron, Adrian, Madison, Riley, Chris, Morgan, Jamie and Jordan.

Must Hate Dogs

Whaaaat! How can you say that about man’s best friend? I really was just using the opposite title of the movie that is coming out called “Must Love Dogs” for this post. I say that, but really I don’t like dogs too much, especially lately. And it’s not just dogs; I’m not really fond of cats either. Let me explain my reasoning before the majority of you get all hot under the dog collar. My son has tested to be highly allergic to dogs and cats. More specifically their dander I guess. He had a high reaction when the allergy doctor tested him. Of course, he had even worse reactions to grass and weeds but dog and esp. cat were way up there too. I read on my brother’s blog awhile back about a product that is one of his favorite things called dog repel or something like that. He liked it because it keeps other dogs off his property and I guess away from their own dogs. I laughed and commented that it sounds like a great product to apply to my son to keep the dogs away. Both my kids are also extremely scared of dogs. For my son, his fear most likely stems from two encounters he had that were horrifying for him. When he was like 2 or 3, our neighbor’s German Shepherd was outside in the front lawn and when my son opened the door it was right in front of him and started barking. The second encounter was with a little yippy excuse for a dog that some other neighbors have that likes to jump up on you and pushes little kids down and actually bit our son on the ankle. Now any time we go for a walk or see a dog somewhere, he gets very nervous and wants to run away. I can’t blame him. I’m not sure why my daughter seems so scared of them too, maybe just because of her brother’s reaction and she is still very young. Just yesterday, she was in our neighbor’s house with my wife when the German Shepherd all of a sudden appeared out of nowhere and she let out a high-pitched scream like she does so well. I think the dog didn’t know whether to come since her scream is so high-pitched or run away. He chose the latter, but the neighbor’s husband and daughter both came running wondering what was wrong.

And now my reasoning for not being fond of cats…well I don’t really have any good reasons; I just don’t really like them. Maybe it is all their hair that gets all over you and how they usually just sit around all day. As you can tell I am not a big pet lover. I cringe when I hear of people who care for their pets more than they would other things and spend huge amounts of money on them. To each their own I guess. I feel sorry for my kids since they may not get to have the good experiences from having a dog for a pet. We may end up getting some other type of pet for them some day. I hear Beta fish are nice. They don’t bite and no allergy problems and probably don’t eat very much and are easy enough to take care of and if they die, just flush and replace.

Old guys in Speedos

My office is across the street from a health fitness racquet club. You know, one of those clubs that people belong where they spend a lot of money in order to make themselves feel guilty enough to go get some exercise. Just joking, I don't intend to offend. We just don't have the funds to belong to one ourselves, nor do we have the drive to get out and regularly exercise. Anyway, they have a pretty good sized swimming pool right across the street from my work. During the fall and winter months, they have it covered with a big canvas bubble like thing. When spring rolls around, they take off the cover. My personal office is on the opposite side of our building, so when I walk by our front glass door or go outside for something during the day, I have to admit that I take a look over there and every once in awhile I am fortunate enough to see some babe in a bikini. Ouwwwch! That was my wife elbowing me to stop looking.

You know the pool scene. You have the kids who are the main ones who are actually in the pool swimming and playing. The adult serious swimmers come at a different time when they have the pool reserved for swimming laps. Then you have some of the moms of the kids who most of the time are just trying to stay out of the heat reading a book or something. And then of course you have the occasional babe in a bikini. Wack! OK, I deserved that one up side the head. You know the type. These girls just lay out getting skin cancer…err I mean getting a tan. Now, I assume there are some hunky guys that show up there too for the same reason, but honestly I have never noticed them. But the worst thing and that which makes me go hmmm is the old guys that will show up wearing nothing but a little Speedo swimsuit. Arrrgh. What are they thinking? With fat rolls covering up half of it, and unmentionable bulges that you really don’t want to see and their bun cheeks hanging out the back. I really don't think any guy should be wearing this small of a swimsuit, but especially not old and out of shape guys. A sight you wish you didn’t see and that definitely makes it not worth taking a look to see the bikini babes. Bam! Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark. I better stop posting before I get all black and blue. : )

Things that make you go hmmm.

Wednesday, August 31, 2005

The best thing that makes you go hmmm...

Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Excess surplus one-liners

Monday, August 29, 2005

An overabundance of one-liners

Sunday, August 28, 2005

Additional one-liners

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Superfluous one-liners

Friday, August 26, 2005

A plethora of one-liners

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Lincoln and Kennedy

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

Good and eeeevil

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Even more one-liners

Monday, August 22, 2005

Burps

Sunday, August 21, 2005

When breast feeding is not ok.

Saturday, August 20, 2005

Why didn't I do that?

Friday, August 19, 2005

Coke, Pop, Soda, Soda Pop, Soft Drink?

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Can you believe...

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

More one-liners

Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Dumb and dumber than ever.

Monday, August 15, 2005

What are your motives?

Sunday, August 14, 2005

It's free. It's free.

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Getting drunk and other stupid things

Friday, August 12, 2005

Some one-liners.

Thursday, August 11, 2005

Should I blog, or should I go?

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Funny signs on yotophoto

Tuesday, August 09, 2005

Riches and Beauty

Monday, August 08, 2005

Questions, questions and more questions

Friday, August 05, 2005

Things that make you go Ahhhh, you scared me.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Deleted pictures

VBS

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

What's in a name?

Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Must Hate Dogs

Monday, August 01, 2005

Old guys in Speedos

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